Text 1 Sep 141,872 notes


so today at work I cleaned this old man’s golf clubs and I thought he was getting his wallet out of his bag but instead he pulls out this giant plastic target bag of yellow plums. he tipped us in yellow plums. he told us not to tell anyone we had these and I looked them up because they were so good and these plums are illegal in the US. I got tipped in illegally imported plums. 

via .
Photo 1 Sep 383,837 notes

(Source: wineandlinez)

via wanderlust.
Text 1 Sep 289,404 notes





I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?


sometimes people dont want to mention the elephant in the room?! 

via chillin.
Video 1 Sep 247,952 notes

(Source: m-ellowed)

via wanderlust.
Photo 1 Sep 8,172 notes

(Source: memewhore)

via wanderlust.
Photo 1 Sep 1,629 notes

(Source: oneclickheadshot)

Photo 1 Sep 186 notes

(Source: skrillexium)

Text 1 Sep 25,949 notes

Anonymous said: how often do you have sex?


How often is your dad “working late”?

Video 1 Sep 117,903 notes


team rocket throw some mad shade

(Source: tangletots)

via .
Video 1 Sep 158,909 notes

(Source: vhs-dreaming)

Video 1 Sep 865 notes


Porter Robinson’s 2014 Worlds Tour

Video 1 Sep 91,532 notes

(Source: jabura)

via .
Photo 1 Sep 82,941 notes

(Source: automatic-weapons)

via .
Video 1 Sep 9,458 notes

WED, 02 JANUARY 2008  When I was in Europe I would play this game for hours and hours… it helped me zone out. Everybody would get involved… Derrick Dudley (Common’s manager) and Consequence were the best other than me… I beat Lexi… Don C beat Jay… Tony Williams beat Common… but every now and then people would speak of this legendary connect 4 champion……….. BEYONCE!!! I had 2 play her!…so last night at Jay’s new 40/40 club in Las Vegas (which is sidebar, crazy big w/ 24krt gold flooring, Black Jack tables, $500 slot machines,the biggest projection screen in the universe and the best turkey burgers I’ve ever had in my life) she beat me 9 times in a row! (and I didn’t even spaz lol) here’s a photo of the only game I won!

(Source: kimkanyekimye)

Photo 1 Sep 261,368 notes niccageinabearcostume:

Nobody won this day


Nobody won this day

(Source: sofapizza)

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